Meanwhile inside sources at the White House indicate many of the staff are in disarray over the contents of this reports with some staffers and interns calling for a separate eating areas for the Vegans in the cafeteria and a designated Vegan break areas outside. As usually the President hasn't yet taken a position on these rapidly developing events. The situation on Capital Hill is about the same with some meat-eating Senators demanding Vegans be excluded from certain "closed door hearings". Things appear to be spinning out of control as both sides harden their positions. A few of the meat-eating Senators are now calling for a special tax to be levied on all beans sold in the country to buy carbon credits. The senior senator from Texas is planning to introduce a bill calling for a nationwide ban on Vegans in all public eating places, and in all closed places where large crowd gather. Again the President's position is unclear on this fast moving story. Outside the White House protesters from both sides are gathering with those on the Vegan side hurling unseen missiles at the meat-eaters! Capital police with gas masks have be observed arresting some of the Vegans and hauling them off in Hazmat vehicles. As this situation unfolds trading on the Chicago Mercantile Exchange has been wild with cattle futures soaring while bean futures are tumbling with most other commodities remaining stable. Meanwhile the man on the street was saying these stinking politicians have finally been exposed and he was grateful to S.H.I.T. While at the same time members of the Republican National Committee are calling for the immediate deportation of all illegal bean-eaters claiming they pose an unacceptable environmental threat because of their excessive emission of green house gases such as methane and further pointing out that as of this time there is no way to successfully cap or regulate these frequent and often violent eruptions..
Although President Obama's public position remains neutral some White House correspondences report overhearing some muffled remarks yesterday as the president left the safety of his TOTUS. The meaning of these unguarded remarks is yet to be aired.